I wasn’t quite sure whether to start this post off with “my bathroom flooded today by way of cleaning up my puppies mess” or “my three-month old puppy has a humping problem.”
I’m going with the later, mostly because the first story is vomit inducing.
It all started one random day, a couple of weeks after I got Enzo. We were playing in the living room while I was lying on my stomach, resting my head on the palms of my hands. Suddenly Enzo jumped up, started biting my hair and humping my arm. I shook him off immediately and had a good laugh. He couldn’t know what he was doing, he was just a puppy, right?
A few more weeks passed, sans another humping incident. Enzo turned twelve weeks old on Christmas day and I couldn’t have been happier with what a good little man was becoming: bright, sweet and slightly cheeky. He’s practically potty trained, loves to play fetch and is even learning to sit and shake for a treat. There is the occasional Blackberry hijacking, earning him the nickname Snoop Dogg Blackberry Bandit.
And then, like lightning striking, Enzo turned thirteen weeks old and humping has quickly become his new favorite trick. Thankfully he no longer uses my arm. No, he’s found a far more appealing companion to suite his needs. I’m not talking about a stuffed animal or dog toy, although he has tried to give it to a small, pink Victoria’s Secret dog. No folks, Enzo humps my Uggs. My old, junky, six-year-old, folded down black Uggs.
He’s not even old enough to have puppy testicles and he’s running around with my black Ugg as though it’s his equivalent of Cameron Diaz.Try to picture an almost three-pound fluff ball running around the house, dragging an Ugg almost twice the size of him. He grabs it in his mouth, trots around with it, shakes it, does his business and even snuggles with it. The problem is I can’t get him to stop.
This newfound love of humping was funny at first. I even tried to convince myself it was natural. (I would still think it was natural if my mom wouldn’t have exclaimed “No, Oblivia, it’s most certainly not natural!”) This delicate matter isn’t something one can just Google, either. I can imagine typing “how to get my puppy to stop humping things” would pull pages of disturbing results in about .003 seconds.
At the end of the day, his humping doesn’t bother me all that much, but I don’t want this to become a bad habit that sticks around after he gets fixed. So, dear readers, I pose to you the awkward question: How do I get my puppy to stop humping things?!